I'll Let You In

Thoughts

2012-01-22T11:27:00.001+08:00

I believe we should never take things for granted However accessible and available it may be I believe we should never assume and make our own conclusions Less to make our own judgments I believe as well that we should treat all others with respect Despite the circumstances People watching. In a club. More than just booze and music. :)

Christmas Eve 2011

2011-12-25T00:20:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, the simple things mean everything.. And at times like these, I am especially grateful for His grace and glory; I am so very blessed to spend Christmas surrounded by my loved ones. This picture is the perfect example of a simple yet warm memory, Something to recall on every Christmas from now. And to smile about as I am reminded of the simple yet irreplaceable joy. Perhaps it is the

泪人

2011-12-10T01:12:00.001+08:00

女人总会有哭成泪人的时候爱惜每一次的开心享受每一刻的幸福也别忘了珍重每一滴流下的眼泪心若不在被牵动不再被感动不再悲伤，也不会再看到那原有的阳光人往往忽略失落会为快乐带来更大的满足：）

我不配

2011-07-20T10:49:00.001+08:00

你的冷漠，你的狠心。怎么都觉得如此熟悉？一样的泪水，不一样的夜晚，我再次回到同一个地方。是执著，是落魄，还是怕寂寞带来的疑惑。我寻找知音，哪怕只是一个懂我的眼神。你的承诺，历历在目。这一夜，你选择躲避，狠狠把握推进漩涡。你口里的冷静，我惟有静听。退缩，我无处可躲。重点不在谁的愧迁，或许终点不是今天。无奈建立的，一夜塌毁，眼前，只剩由时间来摧毁的昨天。怒，怎么让自己再次坠落。悲，我真的真的曾经以为..

第三章：重来

2011-07-20T00:01:00.001+08:00

不简单，却无法否认心里的快感。幸福，靠近的太离谱。伸手触摸眼前的快乐，深受无比的笑容。回首凝望背后的伤口，发现回忆无奈，从未释手。得寸进尺的人类，想拥有，想占有，想独霸所有。是自己冲昏了头，差点，失手。幸福，骄傲得不甘被掌握。它，要你先学会承受。这万籁俱寂的夜晚，重拾防备的心：防守。我要学会放手。-完-

第二章：看清

2011-07-20T00:00:00.001+08:00

需要多大的勇气。不停下的雨，埋没了理智。打开不可收回的伤痛，发起似乎没有终点的哀悲。鲜血泪水，都不是你我要看到的片尾。悬崖，欲坠。还好，不至于如此愚昧。阳光结束了寒冬。感激，不尽。

第一章：坠落

2011-07-19T23:28:00.002+08:00

口里的甜头，他手里的自由。紧握幻想的背后，痛苦的泉由。努力上游，模糊了他人的劝告。奋不顾身，没有期望是最好的防备。即时狼狈，也不想后悔。努力的追，穿越荆棘却忽视伤痛。再大的浪水，都无法打击这奋斗的心肺。让人敬佩，却也让身心疲惫。最终停顿了脚步，让一切随时间逝退。-待续-

寂寞，就好

2011-07-06T00:18:00.002+08:00

每一个笑容，都回来到受考验的时候。你，今天的笑容，是否发自内心，或又是强迫自己面对现实最好的伪装呢？身心开始追不上生活的节奏，无所谓，你在目的地等我就好。我需要寻找那力量和勇气，应付这突如其来的空虚。我，寂寞寂寞就好。=)

a new chapter

2011-07-02T01:30:00.004+08:00

And so I'm officially graduating....with First Class Honours :)Giving all glory to Him really.For without Him,we are nothing.A new chapter begins.A new journey awaits.Started work today as well.So many different challenges to take up.Hello hello July!I'm excited, nervous, nostalgic..So scrambled are my thoughts that I can't even blog properly.My words are all over the place, I know.Guess I better

The little things that count

2011-06-27T01:50:00.002+08:00

九年。谈不上长，却说不上短。最难得的，莫过于还是可以一起无聊。看透了所谓的天长地久，所谓的友谊万岁。只要，偶尔联络，偶尔见面，偶尔关心，也已足够。最主要，还是那份真诚的心。正式踏入生命的另一个阶段，衷心祝福，让每一天都过得快乐，没有遗憾。To a brighter future. ♥

C-H-A-N-G-E

2011-05-26T00:49:00.002+08:00

I recently realized I'm a sucker for constancy.I hate changes,whether for the good or for the bad.It's dysfunctional. Like really, I know. The elements of uncertainty and surprise that comes with the changes are just,suffocating and oh-so-petrifying. I hold on too much,and I let go too little.Imbalance much?I seem to take every word people say so seriously,that when disappointment comes,I become

¿Posible, no?

2011-04-25T22:37:00.003+08:00

I woke up from the same nightmare,twice.The same fear,the same tears.I never knew it was possible.Part of me died again,to the same old song,at the same old spot.I never knew it was possible.The heartache so consuming,the promises so vivid.I trusted, again.I never knew it was possible.The pain enduring,lasting longer than it should.Waking up in tears, again.I never knew it was possible.And I

Misunderstood

2011-03-16T22:52:00.002+08:00

You never said.You thought.You thought I would knwo how to react.You never cared to explain.You thought that by giving and sacrificing,peace would be achieved.You never cared to ask.You thought that what I did was to accuse,You never bothered finding out.You thought that I was all that you said,You never tried to understand.

Back to square one

2011-02-26T16:48:00.003+08:00

You said to wait till you get back.I kept my hopes up high.Restless, yet hope ignites.The thought tat we might be able to talk this over.and then i forgot.How cud i stupidly miss,the big huge wall that stands between our feet.I tried calling out,I did.But then again,I cudn't reach.

I dun wanna leave

2011-02-26T07:10:00.002+08:00

It's not the same.It can't be.I'm trying to drill this in my mind.Despite the exact same loneliness, the dread, the feeling of despair.I refuse to acknowledge the similarities,for I know, this is different.why do I see myself at the top of a spiral staircase then?What if this is only the beginning of the end?The distance.The miscommunication.The little cracks.The heartache that follows suit.The

Helado

2011-02-19T00:44:00.003+08:00

I see the trail I left behind.I see how it has lost it precious moments.What is eluded from me,is the reason that lies between,and the road that lies ahead.The source of confusion is self-inflicted, they say.If the choice was clear,why still do words and stories hurt me like no other?Its a circle, a mean cycle.I wanna get off. Estoy muy triste.Easy.Straightforward.Por que?Something's

The little initials

2011-02-13T00:18:00.003+08:00

Hola readers!Had a happy Chinese New Year?Time for updates, I know.But my mind is blank.Except for maybe this.I miss you.I miss talking to you.Well, I guess we dun talk tat much.But I miss how I know you were there even though when we are not talking to each other.There, I think that explains it best.Guess the time isn't right, or is it?Still, time has it. :)

stumbling upon the ugly truth

2011-01-19T00:41:00.002+08:00

全世界都停了电。越过那不被允许的界限，揭开不为人知的一面。我懂得的，不再懂得，我珍惜的，不再需要我的爱护。我的心胸狭窄，还未学会看不见。看不见你们的伪装，看不见你们的虚伪，看不见，你所谓对我的好，有多好多好。是我冲动下定论？是我判你于死刑？还是证据，隐藏着，却万分真实？我以为你懂。我以为你真的懂。谎言和背叛，会是多么的痛。可怕的是你戴上的面具。在我面前，好好一套。在我背后，插着多少刀？怎么一切那么熟悉？朋友间的火战，那份伤心，失望，和愤怒。不同的，这次我似乎已经绝望，我似乎已经看破，也许是我，是我不配拥有，朋友。不同的是，我们曾是同一阵线，就你和我，相依为命么？可笑。多么可笑。投入他人的怀抱！去！我不需要。就算这一个不妙也好，我一个人没有什么大不了。你的笑，不再牵连我的心跳。没有伪装的需要。Preliminary emotions.The journey of

2011

2011-01-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

Saying the usual goodbyess? =pSecond day of a brand new year.Felt any unusual-ness yet?Other than the 6 percent govt tax, that is.Starting work tomorrow makes me cranky.and depressed.and sad.and upset.and the list goes on. =)Okay.Let's be positive.WooHoo!Nah, just to scare you with my freaky face. :pWat has 2010 brought me, exactly?Okay. Let's start counting.This will be a much happier post (i

I'll be there for you

2010-12-28T01:57:00.003+08:00

Two strong men got up to fight,Brawling, spewing when their needs collide.Conflicts arise, and its never polite,reality is always here to strike.I'm glad you made a decision.Clear and just and you know it's right.Its not permanent, its a transition.The trouble you see, it won't bite.But Baby, do place in mind,For whatever you need, I will (try to) provide.Trying my level best and putting it

i shud smile like this

2010-12-25T02:50:00.003+08:00

I've learned to smile in the midst of darkness.Emerging, from a swamp of never-ending sorrow.It was a battle I fought my way through,with the help of a sunshine,I finally left you.It was never easy,the haunting never stops.If the past could stay in its place,I would be more than grateful.I care.I do.But you have no right to mess me up like a fool.Merry Christmas.

its the season to be jolly

2010-12-24T21:48:00.003+08:00

Before its too late everyone, Merry Berry Christmas!Time flies (banyak cliche i know),and here we are again.Christmas. Presents. And a time of reunions. So much have happened this year that I dunno where to start,but the bottomline is,I am grateful for all He hath done,for me.Im a happy girl now.Or so I think. =)May this festive season brings all kinds of happiness to all of you loved ones out

so near

2010-12-15T01:35:00.003+08:00

You're sitting right in front of me.I don't know if you can see what I see: this is the best anything can be.No words. Not a sound.Yet I know you're here, with me.I try not to sneak obvious glances,for fear you'll see it through.I really am happy for you,really.But somehow,the separation got me blue.But then again,nuthin matters more,to see you happy, healthy,sporting the smile to-die-for.I love

Missing it already

2010-12-14T14:55:00.002+08:00

Camp.Love this. xoxo

Thesis Syndrome

2010-12-07T21:09:00.001+08:00

I just can't wait for all this to be over.Like the day I can finally forget it,for good.It's bugging me so much that I wanna sit down and cry.I am lost with no direction,not a single clue on how to continue from here.Its a huge mess tat needs cleaning.a crazy pile that needs organizing.Kill me.Like Now.

Stress, and more

2010-11-25T10:36:00.002+08:00

Yours truly is currently at a strange, unfamiliar place.Surrounded by strange, unfamiliar people.And all these added on to Inde-B stress.Tat shud explain the weird, strange photo above. I'm on a mission.To finish my work today,and to keep the old one company.The unfamiliar-ness is killing me.But I'm projecting all good thoughts to later where we will be spending the day together. Summoning all

wandering.wondering

2010-11-09T23:33:00.002+08:00

The wanderer.She walked out of flames.Falling into a loving embrace.She wandered through a new path,exploring the pathway she have not seen.She saw the rainbow and its colors,she smelled the fragrance of the flowers.But the flowers came with hidden thorns,and happiness, with pain.She wondered.Why was it that the sky turned red?Why was it that the road was never straight?She pondered on the inner

if i die young

2010-11-01T23:04:00.002+08:00

Thank you for being there.Thank you for understanding.Thank you for being the only source,of light and hope and all I can ask for.I'm not weak.I'm merely exhausted.I'm not strong,I'm merely a great actress.The play of life has wore me down.The end,I see it, I feel it.The end isn't mine to be,but yet,the pain it brings,I see and feel.I'm perfectly fine.I'm back to square one.If I become a

who you are

2010-10-31T22:12:00.002+08:00

I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Why am I doing this to myself. Losing my mind on a tiny error. I nearly left the real me on the shelf. To lose it all in the blur of the start. Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. Just be true to who you are.Can't get this song

Verge

2010-10-31T18:15:00.003+08:00

Stress has taken its toll on this useless shell.As if my emotions need further verification of the difficult times.as if this would validate the fact that yes,all I want to do is curl up, cry, and forget.If this was a challenge Lord,what is is that you want me to learn?I have erased blaming out of my system,yet you bring back the complainer in me.Lord,I'm tired.I'm lost.I cannot understand.

abandoned

2010-10-30T01:44:00.004+08:00

Perhaps I am a passer by,a cheater of time,a small character of the storyline.Perhaps I was never meant to be,the shooting star,but the one at far.Perhaps this was never suppose to be it,but because we were weak,training came.Perhaps I should stop and sleep,and wander deep,into the dream I seek.Perhaps we all know this is not the truth,yet sometimes there's no way,but to think like a fool.If only

angelic

2010-10-26T18:46:00.002+08:00

And so they say,When difficulties strike,you see one's real side.I was taken aback.Not by thy others but yet my own weakness.The inability to cope. Incompetency to be low.I was taken aback.By how God has situated angels around me.The understanding friends,the ever considerate bunch.They put a smile to my face, telling me the dark ain't tat bad.Thank you.To all of you.and you know who you

All grown up

2010-10-26T12:58:00.002+08:00

Seeing the world through the eyes of,not my own. Nothing familiar.No more running,forget hiding.Reality is here to stay.The pillar of strength,or so once I thought.Perhaps there's nothing stronger,than determination itself.Doubting my chosen path,yet stubbornness would not give way.Helpless and incompetent,but learning has its own way. And all i need is faith.And strength and more

G.W.S

2010-10-25T01:30:00.002+08:00

Your every step,Your every breath.Warrants my attention,demands no distraction.I see the weaken spirit.I sense the restless soul.Where did the mischief go?It pains me to see u smile,when I know you're not feeling well.I do not think it's all worthwhile,to push yourself to a limit so far.Baby, what can I do?But to pray hard for your body to be good.To listen to what you want,and to performs its

Wanted to

2010-10-16T00:24:00.003+08:00

I was eager.a little bit too eager.I wanted to tell you,I find this lyrics wonderful.http://www.inkui.com/a3/5/1/51BB3DAE79E14B08DBDB.htmlI wanted to tell you,it actually has all I want you to know. I wanted to tell you,it's fine if you haven't practiced the song on the piano.Cos I was eager to let you hear my part,on the guitar,as we promised.I'm sorry for raising my voice.I'm sorry for being

Beginning of An end

2010-10-15T23:39:00.003+08:00

And here, it comes to an end.The end of a road taken.The end of a journey chosen.We had fun.and tears. and sweat. We had craziness.and spontaneity. and unity.The beginning of a new journey.What lies ahead?An uncertainty,unpredictable by many.

snoitasucca

2010-10-10T18:03:00.002+08:00

Little hiccups.Little falls.Little red bulbs, tat light up the hall.It is a process.It is mandatory.But to view it as negative, it's not compulsory.I'm sorry for the words u termed,accusations and others that stung. I'm sorry for the ignorance,and the mistrust I brought along.

checkpoint 0.3

2010-10-04T01:07:00.003+08:00

Our footsteps lingered on the pathway.In pairs,reminding me,how quickly I have paced.through the dark and the wilderness.With you,time seem to pass.With a type of numbness.Hath the bleeding stop?I wonder.Is it time to move on completely?You,provided an answer. Challenges.It fills this way.throwing us from bay to bay.It ain't a bed of roses.And yes, it is expected.But when things seem to cloud up

sometimes

2010-09-21T23:53:00.003+08:00

..and this is one of the days when you wake up and resent living.the demands placed on you,by yourself and by others.taking up your space to even breathe.suffocation,sometimes.They call it stress.I call it life.放不下。金牛非要固执不可。是感情，是学业，是事物，是过去，是回忆，是无法改变的事实。我从学不会放手。累了自己，累了别人。无心的话，却是最真实的感叹。学会接受，忠言逆耳的事实。只是，我还没学会，从这儿，我该怎样往前走。

I'm happy when you are

2010-09-20T23:29:00.003+08:00

Is something bothering you my dear?I sense a rapture on the calm of seas,a slight difference,an unusual vehemence. You portray a confusing affect,making me a worried soul.Yet your silly ways tickle my smiling pods,and I can't help but lose control.I want you to be happy.I love to see you smile.Your laughter seems to be the only way,that makes me go the mile.Have I brought on trouble?Has work

A lil bit of September

2010-09-16T03:54:00.004+08:00

Cuzzies' staying over.hasn't been this happening since a long time.Sneaked out at 3am to get take-away KFC.Imagine.The fat-ass ness of the action?Superb.Anyway,a recap of the month of September so far.Bangkok/Pattaya with the Babes This was somewhat before September.A non-hassle, no begging others trip to Bangkok and Pattaya.Crazy shopping spree. =)Its always nice to travel with people you feel

Repetition

2010-09-04T00:19:00.002+08:00

Sometimes,I get lost in the maze of your mysterious ways.Sometimes,I do not know the appropriate step to take.Sometimes,I ponder on the possibility of me at fault.Sometimes,I wonder whether I place the stakes too high.Sometimes,I just want to know what to do.And how to.Most of the time,I don't get the needed answer.

Solitude

2010-09-03T02:23:00.002+08:00

It is not the first,won't be the last.I was taught how to put on an act,but not to accept.How unfortunate.But practical.Where is my base?How do I stand up for myself,when I know I don't have the rights.Hypocritical,the worse kind,me. Hear no evil.But they won't stop.Speak no evil?They have showed me how impossible.Taking up the blame for my own actions.Trudging.Solitary comes into action.

Last Semester

2010-09-01T23:47:00.004+08:00

I'm old.But I'm not alone.*evil grin*Pinky promises that we shall make the best out of our last semester?♥-ing each and every one of you. =)

Merdeka?

2010-09-01T02:51:00.002+08:00

Right before the fireworks subside,the people cheer.A celebration, it seems.Yet,it is no better than a rotten apple.A beautiful outlook?Even this, is crumbling.With macro issues such as global warming and poverty,one cannot sustain own's desire: of greed and selfishness.This is Malaysia.What am I saying?I am disappointed.Who's fault to blame?For this,I can't say anything.For I don't want to

90 days. still walking. i have you now.

2010-08-22T23:42:00.004+08:00

Be yourself.You're good.No donning needed.You're my sunshine.Shine through the dark.I am yet to see the way out.But by your light I know,It is a matter of time.They say the light might burn out.I agree.Yet there's nothing I can do,but to hope and pray that it shall be.The brightest ever.The only one.Sunshine, I succumb to thee. I thank God in every prayer.For without Him,I know no brighter

Gah

2010-08-20T20:59:00.003+08:00

I'm bored.I'm angry.I'm pissed off.I'm annoyed.I'm lifeless.Where's the post-exam celebration party?L-I-F-E-L-E-S-S.I'm so annoyed at myself for being so annoyed tat I've resorted to biting.Again.How pathetic is that?I have to restrain my emotions.For lashing out on the innocents.Sigh.I'm such a whining kid.Who can't even stay home for one night.Ugh.FML. Big time.

念

2010-08-14T23:23:00.002+08:00

过去，让它过去。你问我怎么故事停顿了，我想，因为一切不再一样了。遗憾，到现在还是可以撕裂般的痛。把心脏放进果汁机打碎，最恰当不过的形容。生气。不甘心。遗憾。失望。绝望。我，现在过得很好。回忆，我只想把它留在最甜美。眼泪，止不住，却已经不能挽回什么。我选择向前，这一刻，只能希望你一样会过得很好。保重。

.... and found?

2010-08-11T00:08:00.004+08:00

Tick tock, goes the clock.I wanna move on, but somehow,a part of me, locked.Tick tock, calls the clock.It's time to forget,to forgive and accept.I wanna be happy,but somehow,a part of me, sobbed.Tick tock, shouts the clock."I wait for no one", it says.Treasure the moment,live in the present.I want to breathe and see,but somehow,a part of me, lost. Find me.Please.

After the storm

2010-08-09T11:13:00.004+08:00

A huge step taken.You know what my babe doll?You are so much more courageous than I am.I was a coward.Maybe I still am.Had my hands over the other's heart,and when it turned cold,mine was the one shattered.A simple change.A loud message.From attached to single,I never had the courage.Nor the privilege to tell the world,I walked out of my dream, so surreal.So baby,you're doing great.With tears of

hurdles

2010-08-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

If life is a racetrack,and we are the runners,I am thankful for the hurdle that tripped me.For the fall brought my eyes to see,wonders that I thought were only possibilities.and then we moved on.and then we continued running.for life is short,and time is flying.A smooth run at first,but now we come face to face.The first hurdle.It wasn't high, nor impossible.Yet it posed a challenge,for it

世界.太多.不开心

2010-08-06T23:14:00.003+08:00

世界太多的烦恼。除了强颜欢笑，还可以怎么熬？想闹，他人面前，担心自己没礼貌。回到，一个人的空间，又好像没有大哭的必要。疲劳，好像，真的好像，就可以这样死掉。相信这一种煎熬，都是生命的提要。要学会长大，学会坚强，学会什么都能够不要。是学业也好，是感情也好，操劳，迟早，被忧郁套牢。

annoying arrogance

2010-08-04T15:20:00.003+08:00

I got cooked up.Flared up.Short tempered.Then I sit and wonder,what brought on the sudden anger?Because you have no rights to judge me.You look at me through yr limited understanding,judging and making your own conclusions.About ME. You would say I was overly conscious.And perhaps that is true.But then again,what rights you have,to judge me by your rule?I should not be bothered.Yet your arrogance

Episode Number?

2010-08-01T02:45:00.002+08:00

August.And we're now left with less than 4 months.Time flies.Something I can't deny.Time heals.A concept I'm clinging on to.Too tight maybe?Too tight it hurts.Have I made progress?I'm eager to know, yet shunned by the truth.Topsy Turvy.When will things get back on track?Detached.When will I see through the eyes of this girl, ever again?

Cluster Buster

2010-07-31T03:41:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I cannot identify my own feelings.It's the worse type,when emotions become unidentified.A cluster.I call them the bundle.Tied up in different emotions,without any being the superior.Shit happens.And when you cannot comprehend,it's gonna bother you forever. I'm sorry.Perhaps it wasn't me to blame,but I play a role.I feel guilty,I feel annoyed at myself,I feel stupid,I feel happy I

ouch

2010-07-29T00:32:00.000+08:00

Tell me what can I do to make this feeling go away?To stop and stay, To make your tiredness go away.The single syllable, you make my heart feel. It's more than just a lil, I wanna hug you so you could feel. Sigh.I am Incompetent,For i fear i add to your burden.Grateful for being able to stay by your side.At times like this, I treasure every moment throughout this night. What would life be?If it

contiguous confrontation

2010-07-23T18:27:00.002+08:00

Thank you for taking the first step.We were never the confrontative type,and I know how much this must have bothered you. Thankful for your presence, and for this I stand on par with you.For He must have his own reason.and I believe this applies to you.You were the fairytale of my harsh world,your perkiness balancing my negativism.Try as i might,you know my intention.It was more a protective than

活着

2010-07-21T20:22:00.002+08:00

你，越过了。我为自己设下的最后一道防线。You unlocked a gate I never knew existed,a barrier so thick I almost suffocated.The mote is now filled,yet the bridge let down.Your heart strike the right chords.And now,I am all yours.崩堤，汹涌。莫名的感动。哪门子的起伏不定？我还真的未摸清。Thank you.For a gazillion things I can yet name.But most importantly,thank you for walking straight into my life.thank you for being there.thank you.so much.

Toppling totem

2010-07-20T23:02:00.002+08:00

What's your totem?The spinning top.The reality check.Are we there yet?Wean me off your warm embrace!Stop making my heart race.It gasps for breath,Without you it is a wrath.Are you my totem?Telling me,how beautiful reality can be?Or are you a dream?Incepted, yet not quite mine to be?

and we fall back into the arms of grace

2010-07-20T15:47:00.003+08:00

It cud have been hard.But you made it simple.Complicated at first,but you brought colors.and then we had more of others.A little here,a little there.Suffocating sometimes,but then we know who really matters.And so,we took a leap of faith.If we fall, we might just go ablaze.Yet it's a risk,I have to take,ascertain that this is a sign of grace.

I would rather..

2010-07-19T04:56:00.002+08:00

..You say something else.One additional word.One additional syllable.Overrated, yes.But irreplaceable.and that I wud love to hear. =)The same simplicity.The abundance that seeps through.P/s: Can I say the same thing to you?

Runaway. Weee~

2010-07-19T03:29:00.005+08:00

Blogging at this hour can only mean two things:1. I'm suffering from another insomnia attack2. I'm using my blog as an escape route from assignments and/or examinationsConsidering the hectic week I'm expecting,it's definitely a Number 2.*takes a long sigh*I know.It's been a long time since I blogged in human language.But then again,well..The dreaded day hath passed.I was the fool, no surprise

bmun.numb

2010-07-15T23:30:00.002+08:00

They call it drama.I just want it to stop.To a point where the brain ceases to function.where the heart forgoes all emotions.I stopped.Thinking, feeling, seeing.The luxury of senses.The mechanism of defenses.I,am my own biggest enemy. To point the gun to where it matters.The temple, the throat, the brain?I chose the heart. Painful.I'm dying a slow death.

Life goes on

2010-07-06T23:02:00.003+08:00

I have to quote you.Life goes on.For you and for me.We now are separate entities.Once an item,once we see,the very same kind of scenery.and now we know.how different life cud be.without you.without me.if this is what you seek,if this is you I see.let it be, let it be.no complaints.residual, it has to be.but time will know,for wounds would seal.and then,we will wake up,and find that days has

Illusory existence

2010-07-01T23:39:00.002+08:00

I am an entity.An existence.But do you see me?I am in touch with humanity.Yet, i remember not my human side.For I've been an entity too long,it left me.Perhaps none was the beginning.And thus nothingness is the end.Perhaps sorrow was the foundation.and hence it should now end.Detached,I see how life is.A blur of images,of greed and desires,of selfishness and hurt.Love.another illusory

where's numbness when u need it

2010-06-20T01:47:00.005+08:00

With love, comes hate.With happiness, comes sorrows.With laughters, comes tears.How could i almost overlooked the ugly truth?The harsh reality of two sided truth.The counter-effect to everything.A wrong step perhaps?A sign of weakness.Indulgence caught me unaware.And now I pay.The consequences.The dark. The tears. The uncertainty.Too familiar, I say.No.Thought stopping.Mind halting.I cannot do

Idiosyncratic Indulgence

2010-06-18T00:50:00.002+08:00

what do you see?Of happiness and sorrows.Of tears and laughters.Of ways that are peculiar.Idisyncratically mine. Indulging.Comprehending the consequences,yet not knowing where to stop. I'm no longer sane.I'm walking with no direction.Running away from something I cannot see.Tell me I'll be okay.All in favor, say Aye.

Antagonistic Acceptance

2010-06-14T18:56:00.002+08:00

It wasn't meant to be.The critiques were close, holding the pen, ready to overthrow.I hung on.And on. And now its gone.It was never meant to be, maybe?The acceptance that gained criticisms.I went against the rules, as usual. It wasn't meant to be either.The players complicated, insecure yet intoxicated.I followed on.Ever the protagonist, now I'm the ugly villain.The acceptance that overwhelms.I'm

Instinctive Intervention

2010-06-14T03:11:00.003+08:00

I barged in, hurt and wounded.The past that would not let go.Your open embrace.A fall back, a rebound, they say.Instinctive, yet rightful, I say.I struggled, dazed and puzzled.Trying to find my way, the present was unclear.Your guiding hand.An infatuation, a recuperative symptom, they say.An interlude, yet capable of being more, I say.I stopped, moving no further.The past holds too much, the

I wanna say..

2010-06-06T01:43:00.003+08:00

I see. I think.I wonder.What went wrong?I try.I try harder.There was no turning back.The tears.The blood.The sweet words.Pouring acid through my heart.The texts.The calls.The unstoppable flow.You make me lose control.I'm braving through a storm.Yet,your presence engulfed my initial despair.Lucky. To find my broken self in your embrace.I'm ugly, yet u did not seem to care.Thank you for being here

idiot

2010-06-05T00:51:00.005+08:00

we were never the mushy slash lovey dovey type.but u know i love you. =)These pictures are the ones we'll look back and cry about.Time flies.And i know I'll miss u girls.Love u all. <3 Happy birthday once again, idiot-who-is-at-Genting-her-second-home!Tried something out of the norm.p/s: You know this is for you. =)Nite lovelies. =)

they say..

2010-06-03T23:50:00.002+08:00

..Love hurts.I can't help but agree.It hurts when its new.It's raw and needs time to brew.It hurts when it seems perfect.Beautiful yet you know not what to expect.It hurts when it turns ugly.Cos the people you love dun seem who they used to be.It hurts when its absent.You're living life without its essence.It hurts when you think its true.Cos you know with love, pain comes too.The most

bumblebee

2010-05-31T14:20:00.002+08:00

They say its a turbulent song.I say its the perfect song for me to whack something.or someone.I know its not worth getting cooked up over.But seriously,I am not THAT disposable, am I?But then again, I know my stand.I chose the hazy skies and the murky waters.Steering clear of emotions that may cause more harm than good.I've got no rights, I know.I'll shut up.

sunday morning

2010-05-30T09:24:00.002+08:00

The amount of effort I willingly go through just to distract myself from starting on my thesis.Blogging on a Sunday morning.It's now or never.Chapter 1 is due tomorrow.Not a single thing in hand, yet blogging mojo is back.Sigh.Life's been a bitch this past week.Swirling my emotions in more colours than a paddle pop.It whirls me off the focus,screw first class honours.Ugh!The road not taken.Guess

你

2010-05-27T00:09:00.001+08:00

就是，想念你。

Please stop, Bangkok

2010-05-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

Stop it.people are dying.the nation's crying.blood's flowing.it's just not right.

Working mode

2010-05-18T00:48:00.002+08:00

Gah!Tomorrow! =(Mode change needed.Emo-ness not allowed.Sheepishness forbidden.Work.And work.And work pls.

就突然

2010-05-16T18:10:00.002+08:00

为别人而生存，是否更加有意义？生活好累人。我并没有在埋怨什么。只是很想就叹息那么一下。路好长，好崎岖，荆棘满地，我伤痕累累。忧郁，使我更加讨厌现状的许嘉敏。我知道我还是幸福的，有家人，有朋友，有很多关心我的人。生活再忙，我并没有忘记感恩。感激每天的小开心，感激有得忙碌的生活，感激一些重拾的友谊。感叹一些不开心的事。但生活总该继续。我选择向前走，为自己的选择负上责任。忙碌，也许为我开启新的路。告诉我，该出发了。丢下伤害，我并无法重新站起来，但至少，我并没有站在原地。学会原谅，学会忘记，学会重新相信。学会呼吸，学会微笑。我要学习生活。作业嘛，也真的应该努力了。

high and low

2010-05-11T23:32:00.002+08:00

I need to gain control.High and low.You make me go.So hot and yet so cold.I stupidly followed.Ugh!Just fml. Max puh-lease.

Second Day of Last Long Sem

2010-05-04T22:03:00.004+08:00

Life's a roller coaster.Not done with the ups and downs.Never will be.I broke down, got right back up.Escaping reality was not an option.but God has a plan for all of us, believe much?Apparently, He loves surprises too. =)I am still thankful for the hurt and pain.It made me who I am now.Moulded. Refined, perhaps?definitely "older". lolme thinks life is like a huge memory box.and somethings (like

3.71

2010-05-03T23:24:00.002+08:00

I need 3 A+ and 5 A's.Difficult but not impossible.I dun think I can live with a second upper.I'm serious.I'm considering skipping my convo if I'm getting second upper.Dead serious.Sigh.First day and I'm stressed to the very core.

dying

2010-04-24T17:59:00.001+08:00

If I was a Korean,I would have committed suicide.This says all.

tom-yummy

2010-04-23T00:45:00.002+08:00

3 years of distance.3 days of closeness.To me,it's God's plan.To refill my heart with the warmth i once knew,the love i once felt.The stupid, childish things that i can go through (grin),and the foolish way we're all trying to grow up.I love you so much.and you too for being the driver.Haha, cherish that song pls.Tomyam summore?Tat was the simplest happiness I felt in days.And perhaps with some

Enough

2010-04-22T02:14:00.002+08:00

Standing up.Thank you.The one who called at the right time.The one who came despite the rain.The one who supported me no matter wat.The one who was by my side most of the time.The one who wants to be mature and listens to me.The one who was hurt but was there for me. The one who fb-msged me.The one who msn-ed me.I'm lucky, no? <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

疤痕和凶器

2010-04-20T17:11:00.002+08:00

真相。我知道。却已经不重要。我的选择，我负责。不会辜负你们的关心和爱护。因为你们，我才有勇气，走下去。不再迷失方向，迷失自己。不再追问。凶器是什么？为什么？因为，伤口存在了。疤痕，成了定局。我，会努力。未来是个未知数。害怕，但却不再怯步。真的可以吗？

不了解

2010-04-20T01:04:00.002+08:00

除了生气，就是不了解。亿万个不明白。他妈的生气得要我命。不想正面冲突，但真的搞不清楚。交待大概会要了你的命，这样想也许会舒服多。

One ugly weekend

2010-04-16T22:18:00.002+08:00

I dread the weekend.But then again, only one weekend to dread wat.Then it's holidays! =))And outings, and trips, and birthdays!Still, I dread the weekend.Arrgh.

dun sweat

2010-04-15T21:37:00.002+08:00

Today is workout day!More like "I wanna eat more tat's why I'm exercising" day. LolStill, yoga is back in business.Gotta practice more if I wan to take over more classes.Arrgh. Need cash.Have to re-train to be fit for classes.Ahh. Good start! =))Tedious but worth it.See my smile after me yoga session?Btw, Need to do sumthing abt my teeth. Hmm.back to studies now. Exoh.

boobies that are not mine

2010-04-15T00:58:00.003+08:00

hello people.i'm supposed to be studying.too bad.counselling is killing me.blogging helps release stress, no? :pShena's Bday.Babe turns 22 this year.before the nite starts.hands off. get yr own. =)My one and only purply.I was a good girl and I drank according to my limits. Lol lol.The chocolate, the yellow, the half chocolate yellow. =)Hello boobies! *wave wave*Ending this post with a pic of us

Greatest weakness

2010-04-05T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'm not here. Not today. Not now.Flu is here.Mood swings are still here.I'm not feeling well.The worst thing?I need you. like very very badly

grow up

2010-04-05T16:54:00.002+08:00

I wanna grow up.I wanna stop caring.I wanna stop whining over small matters.I wanna stop complicating matters.I wanna stop looking from a small hole.I wanna see the bigger picture.I wanna see the future.I wanna see the people.I wanna see their hearts.I wanna live like I think I could.I wanna leave when I think I should.For now,I wanna stop thinking.

i hate this part right here

2010-04-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

Eyes of ocean.Sink within them.They tell a story of anguish, of love, of betrayal, of forgiveness.Of mistrust, of impulsivity, of love again.The waves bring whispers,of unfair-ness.I soar, yet my feet touches the water.Blades, or perhaps icicles.The only difference present was that the former stays, the latter vanishes after the murder.You killed me with an icicle.Perfect murder.I hate

easier said than done

2010-03-27T09:15:00.003+08:00

Love hurts.It's bullshit when they say it doesn't.But we have a choice, we really do.My darling,I see you and I see what I've been through.Rough patches, unstable emotions, little fights, tears and heartbreaks.I love you and you shall keep that in mind okay?Whatever it is, we are here for you.To my little brother,It's not even love.You'll wake up one day and see how stupid this whole thing may

No man is an island

2010-03-27T01:31:00.003+08:00

Hello people!First and foremost,I miss my baby.Sigh.All these going on and somehow something's not right.But then again,I had fun. =))TWas a great week.Heaps of fun, laughter and craziness.Weeeee~~~I'm tired.And reluctant to go back to my assignments.Arrgh.Some of the 197 pics we took throughout the nite. =)Enjoy.My babe. Dun always emo larr. Wuve u to the very max. =)The super "mo-qi" duo. =) be

of matta fair and the babes

2010-03-16T23:28:00.002+08:00

My babes.How cliche.Yet, they were the ones who were there when I need them.Not complete yet. Me lucky. me got more. =)but I'm nevertheless grateful how they have come into my life.Number one: The one who knows me inside outNumber two: The one who understands my inside outNumber three: The one who never-speaks-or-contacts-much but still be there no matter whatNumber four: The one who seems like

Matta Fair day 1

2010-03-12T23:38:00.002+08:00

Day 1.The usual.Feet that are no longer mine. >.

perfectionista

2010-03-10T22:14:00.002+08:00

I'm not a perfectionist.I do not attempt the impossible.I know my limits.I know what I can do well.That's the thing that kills.Gnawing. Guilt. Disappointment. Anger.I was supposed to be better.Way way way much better.I failed.Do not give me shit about how blessed I am to have gotten that many marks.I live up to my own expectations.I sucked.I f*cked up.I screwed the stupid damn presentation.And

Rest, I need

2010-03-06T02:18:00.002+08:00

I'm not young anymore.I'm serious.I can see how late nights are really killing me.Bad skin, fluctuating weight, super huge eye bags.Low blood pressure, muscle cramps, and blurred vision.Not to mention super bithcy periods and wonderful migraines.Ugh!I need a life.Okay, maybe not to that extent.But i really need to sleeeeeep.I was so sleepy while ushering at Unifest that i literally sleptWith all

Chian

2010-02-25T00:04:00.002+08:00

Gan Hui Chian, this post is for you.There's counselling due tomorrow but I cannot contain my emotions right now.You make me wanna cry, you stupid girl.Stress is taking its toll on me.With camp and assignments due this week.My phone had to join in the fun by deleting all my messages and CONTACTS.For no apparent reason.Do not ask me to check my SIM card pls, cos I already did tat.So indulged in

Rawr in the New year

2010-02-22T23:43:00.005+08:00

Chinese New Year was a blast. =)I had a great time.Happy Tiger Year everyone!It wasn't so much on the new clothes or ang paus,but the time we spent together,whether with family or with friends.CNY somehow gives us the perfect reason just to meet up and renew our ties. =)I love you peeps. =)It was also this time of joyous feelings that i was constantly reminded of the impermanence of life.How