Back to square one

You said to wait till you get back.
I kept my hopes up high.

Restless, yet hope ignites.
The thought tat we might be able to talk this over.

and then i forgot.
How cud i stupidly miss,
the big huge wall that stands between our feet.

I tried calling out,
I did.
But then again,
I cudn't reach.

I dun wanna leave

It's not the same.
It can't be.

I'm trying to drill this in my mind.

Despite the exact same loneliness, the dread, the feeling of despair.
I refuse to acknowledge the similarities,
for I know,
this is different.

why do I see myself at the top of a spiral staircase then?
What if this is only the beginning of the end?

The distance.
The miscommunication.
The little cracks.

The heartache that follows suit.
The sleepless nights.
The tearless cries when you know no one would care.

All so familiar, yet I can do nothing.

Im on a road called doubt,
and now i realized how I have stupidly depend on you,
too much.
As needy as before,
as demanding as ever.

How do i get back on track before its too late?

Helado

I see the trail I left behind.
I see how it has lost it precious moments.
What is eluded from me,
is the reason that lies between,
and the road that lies ahead.

The source of confusion is self-inflicted, they say.
If the choice was clear,
why still do words and stories hurt me like no other?

Its a circle, a mean cycle.

I wanna get off.

Estoy muy triste.

Easy.
Straightforward.

Por que?

Something's misplaced.
Not lost.
Yet it had not return.

Mi mejor amiga esta lejos de mi.
Muchos lejos.

The metaphorical distance.
It kills.

Helado.
Haha.

The little initials

Hola readers!
Had a happy Chinese New Year?

Time for updates, I know.
But my mind is blank.

Except for maybe this.

I miss you.
I miss talking to you.

Well, I guess we dun talk tat much.
But I miss how I know you were there even though when we are not talking to each other.
There, I think that explains it best.

Guess the time isn't right, or is it?

Still, time has it. :)

stumbling upon the ugly truth

全世界都停了电。

越过那不被允许的界限，
揭开不为人知的一面。
我懂得的，不再懂得，
我珍惜的，不再需要我的爱护。

我的心胸狭窄，
还未学会看不见。
看不见你们的伪装，
看不见你们的虚伪，
看不见，
你所谓对我的好，
有多好多好。

是我冲动下定论？
是我判你于死刑？
还是证据，
隐藏着，
却万分真实？

我以为你懂。
我以为你真的懂。
谎言和背叛，
会是多么的痛。

可怕的是你戴上的面具。
在我面前，
好好一套。
在我背后，
插着多少刀？

怎么一切那么熟悉？
朋友间的火战，
那份伤心，失望，和愤怒。
不同的，
这次我似乎已经绝望，
我似乎已经看破，
也许是我，是我不配拥有，
朋友。

不同的是，
我们曾是同一阵线，
就你和我，相依为命么？
可笑。
多么可笑。

投入他人的怀抱！去！
我不需要。
就算这一个不妙也好，
我一个人没有什么大不了。

你的笑，
不再牵连我的心跳。

没有伪装的需要。

Preliminary emotions.
The journey of truth-seeking.
Forgiving.

And most importantly,
forgetting.

Starts here.

2011

Saying the usual goodbyess? =p

Second day of a brand new year.
Felt any unusual-ness yet?
Other than the 6 percent govt tax, that is.

Starting work tomorrow makes me cranky.
and depressed.
and sad.
and upset.
and the list goes on. =)

Okay.
Let's be positive.
WooHoo!


Nah, just to scare you with my freaky face. :p

Wat has 2010 brought me, exactly?
Okay. Let's start counting.
This will be a much happier post (i think) compared to resolution's post.
You know, the one where we make all kinds of goals and promises?
Haha.

But there's so many freaking things I dunno where to start!
You know what? I'll just pick 5.
FIVE things that come to mind, deal?

One. I took a huge step. Leaving something once treasured in the past. Not easy. Never is. But yea, I did it. Im sure this ranks number one.

Two. I found my sunshine. Greatest gift. Enough said. =)

Three. Finished my studies at UCSI. Literally. No more classes. No more college student. This is saddenning. =(

Four. How my friends amaze me. Like, all of them. Life wouldn't be the same without them, and somehow, He helped me to see this through little twists and turns. I love them to bits.

Five. Went on a trip with siblings without the parents. Definite success!

I'm grateful for all that happened, and all that has been given to me.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and it is all good in the hands of God. =)

That basically sums it all. Hmm. So people,

let bygones be bygones.

That will be my very first resolution of the year.

More to come! =))

xoxo

I'll be there for you

Two strong men got up to fight,
Brawling, spewing when their needs collide.

Conflicts arise, and its never polite,
reality is always here to strike.

I'm glad you made a decision.
Clear and just and you know it's right.

Its not permanent, its a transition.
The trouble you see, it won't bite.

But hey, do place in mind,
For whatever you need, I will (try to) provide.

Trying my level best and putting it insight,
I'll be there for you,
through the darkest of nights.