无言的结局

明天要开始工作了，
该带着什么样的心情？
不知不觉中，
心情的宣泄处成了我们暗杀对方的凶器，
就只有无奈可以解释我当下的心情。

人家说，
人生如戏。
做的每一件事，说的每一句话，
只不过在台上需要满足观众的需求。
那其实，
我们背后是什么人？
应该是说，
真正的我们，在哪里?

我说的，
是放弃吧各位。
我不是说放弃我们多年来的友谊，
但是时候放下面具，
往后退一步了。
执着，
没带给我们什么好处。
是友情经不起考验，
还是实在太多的巧合，
我们都有责任三思而后行。

到了这个地步，
并没有需要再转弯抹角了。
丽雯，佳敏，美婷。
我们要求的，
只是你们的坦诚和真心。
不需要多说，
就只要这样而已。
要嘛，
大家掏心做朋友。
要嘛，
我们各走各的，
往后都没有需要再为谁而心痛。

我们都累了，不是吗？

I dumped my best friend

2 papers tomorrow.
when is this torture going to end?
you cannot blame a girl for being emo,
not when she has 5 papers to sit for in 3 days.
not when she has only 6 days left wth her Bubu.
not when she doesn't feel like working but she knows she needs the cash.

Hyen: When the world gives u lemons, u make lemonade.
My question: What if i dun like lemonades?
LOL.
i find it funny. in a sad way.
i'm too pessimistic now to let any happy tots invade my brain,
let alone positive and encouraging ones.

Bubu,
I'm sorry.
I dunno how to put this but the truth is I chose the job over you.
I kept rationalizing tat I wasn't one of them,
I wasn't giving excuses,
but yes. I am as FUGLY as any of them.
now, at least.

I love u and u know it.
I'm grateful for yr undertsanding,
as in if u were to ask me not to dump u,
Bu, I swear. I wud rather let the job down.
But thank u for being so understanding.
thank u for being so considerate.
I dun wan this to sound like a roll of credits ppl give speeches on during the Grammy's,
but, I really appreciate this. A lot.

Gah~
Now i hate u.
For making me mushy all over.
Such a biatch.

该去的留不住

我们都是放不下的小气人。
这是我告诉她的一件事。
虽然不想承认，
却无法逃避现实。
对，我们执着。

其实，
没有什么好坏。
有时，我也已经学会抽离，
从旁观察这一切。
从第三者的角度，
一切都变得好滑稽，哭笑不得。

什么朋友？
到了这个阶段，
我想你们明白我的立场。
你应该清楚我没有想放弃的意思，
但唯一的要求，
就是把你们的借口都收起来了好吗？

其实，
一句：“我不要去。”
会比你们任何一个借口容易接受。
不要在这儿说考试，
那边和朋友打算出去。
不要在这儿说没车，
那边却可以老远的载送朋友。
不要这儿说晚餐实在“太夜”，
那边却可以和其他朋友过夜去。

哈哈大笑。
因为每次都给我们撞破谎言的机会。
你让我们好难看，好难堪。
除了哈哈大笑。我还可以怎么办？

When you hold me up high..

I'm counting down the days left.
I am having too much fun, too attached.
I hate it when i forget my mistakes and once again get attached:
emotionally and physically.
I am so used to be around ppl I love,
and those who loves me for who I am as well.
And sorry,
this makes both parties sad,
but i can't help but think abt the day you are going to leave again. =(

I'm just depressed.
Have to accept that females are the more emotional gender.
I tot i have outgrew the pain,
yet the wound seems fresh and new.

It was not a matter of time,
it was merely a metter of determination.
I was so determined to put you guys in the past and live on.
I was so determined to show that without you guys I cud live a perfectly colorful life.
And all this had to come rushing back,
all in one blow.

How big a realization it was.
Somehow, I was never the important one.
I was quick to let go, yet i know tat saved me from more pain.

Yes, I moved on.
Yes, I am changed.
Yes, I can live without you ppl.
And yes, I want to.



But no, I can't forget.

No-Eyes-See

I feel the need to keep my eyes shut everytime i see disgusting-annoying-frustrating things.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Thus, speak no evil.

How many times have i gone thru this?
I analyzed my feelings, my emotions, and yet I find no reason to accept wat u have done.
Its betrayal. And u know it.
Dun give me bull-shit reasons.
Dun tell lies to cover yr intentions.
DO NOT spit yr poisonous stories into my ears.

But of cos,
I put on a perfect facade.
I know wat u are. Oh yes, I have seen yr kind one times too many.

Sorry peeps,
this topic is getting really bored i know.
but i need to justify myself by letting it out.
releasing.
perhaps by doing this i can go on with my pretense.
The persona i so carefully crafted for u, the one and only.

Sigh.
I am never evil and I will nvr speak bad of u.
I hold on to the memories we once shared,
and i hope you do too.
Somehow.

Water Brains

Sorry.
Can't help it.
But Miss Carmen is in a HYPER mood.

Lol.
Going out with bubu this saturday.
Hopefully yaya can join us larr.
Hahaz.

This post is actually dedicated to the one with water brains - Geetha a/p Rakwan.
Lol.
And i missed many ppl today.
Getting emo and nostalgic.

Bipolar.
Lalalalala~

It's hard

I'm not ok.
So stop asking.
U shud know how i feel,
u,
of all people.

I'm disappointed,
angry,
sad,
confused,
lost,
scared,
furstrated,
most importantly,
i'm hurt.


give me a valid explanation.
i need it like a smoker needs his ciggies.
how do i assure myself,
when u have nuthin better to say for yrself?

its permanent.
its sad i know.
but u can't just tatoo it on my heart and expect to walk away just like tat.