Monday, January 11, 2016


10 days into the new year, and I am yet to grasp the fact that I turn 26 this year.
(Reciting "Age is but a number" over and over in my head..)
Being a mid-twenties "adult" has so far been a fun, interesting, liberating, and interesting experience.
This year, I want to pick up writing again.
Yes, I need to improve on my academic writing,
but at the same time I want to make sure I don't forget my passion for free-writing.
Plus, it is always fun to look back and see what a stupid fool I was haha.

This is a little late but I thought I should recap my 2015.
They say 25 years old is ht prime-time and one of the best years of a woman's life.
Looking back, I can't agree more!
Sometimes we get so caught up in unfulfilled needs and unmet goals (i.e. I am still overweight) that we forget to stop and count the blessings.
So here goes:

January: We traveled to Utah. First real trip as a couple. He got to know the girls. And the girls loved him. Flew first class. Had unlimited drinks. All in all a good trip.

February: Nothing much that stands out. Does not mean it wasn't a good month. Had Kokoro for Valentine's Day, something that may turn out to be a luxury given our living situation now.

March: My first real conference in the States. SRCD, first time on the east coast and SPRING BREAK with the girls. Vegas and SF and surfing and all that good stuff.

April: My birthday month! First birthday trip as a couple to Catalina! Hopefully we get to do this every year!

May: Celebrated our 2nd year anniversary. 2 years with the love of my life.

June: Crazy month of change! Moving, transitioning, spending time with Ally, Yosemite, coding, living apart for a while, bed bugs, and all the jazz. Craziest month of the year I would say!

July: First 4th of July celebration! And then flying with him back home and spending time with the family. Pure bliss.

Aug: Got back.. And starting to get used to living together.. For reals. In Merced! Lol.

Sept: His birthday month! And a really crazy month for school.

October: PORTLAND! And getting used to him starting work at the end of the month.

November: Thanksgiving. And almost wrapping up the semester.

December: News about my first fellowship and first poster acceptance! Happy times with cohort and school mates. Even better time with family. And of course, SEATTLE!


I had a good year, don't you think? And somewhere along the way, we had crazy fights (but made up), talked about babies and family and wedding (more seriously), I managed to be tentative first author on a theoretical paper, and got closer to the family (if possible).

Also, I'm starting to see changes to my body. Slowly (given my fat-assness) but surely.

God is good. And I'm really excited to see what the future holds. I'm ready for you 2016!

Monday, December 22, 2014

I survived my first semester

The title says it all.
This it the first weekend I have done nothing and have felt no (minimal) guilt.
No, not really, as I'm typing this I'm already feeling the guilt seeping in:
Should I be reading this? When do I start writing? Am I doing enough?
Same old same old.

To recap my first semester as a PhD student:
1. I finally have a full functioning lab! And now for the recruitment of RA's..
2. I am writing a theoretical paper with both my advisor and another junior faculty.. exciting!
3. I have started coding data, and hopefully be able to finish it next semester, and start writing my PCP soon! I'm on time I hope?..

Honestly, while my master's did not reflect how it would be like being a phd student,
it definitely helped me prepare in terms of readings and meeting the expectations of a "grad student".
I definitely felt that I was more prepared when compared to undergrads.
Then again, if your ultimate goal is to get a PhD anyway,
I would still recommend going straight into a PhD program.

My brain's kinda dead.
And I'm kinda lazy to be typing/writing.
So I guess that's all for now.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Stats Midterm

Hi, so.. I'm still alive from studying stats.
Im beginning to believe they saying that it's all in the head.
For instance if you're scared of math you'll do poorly in Math, that's the rule.
Honestly, I've never had that problem.
Ive never understood the other people's struggle with math, or academics in general.
I hated Physics, but I still did well in it.
Looking back, I guess I was pretty blessed.

Its been so long since the last time I and a real exam.
One that leaves so much uncertainty in you, like you think you've gone through all the materials but still feel very unsure about it.
And.. I have to stop being competitive.
It's killing me.
I'm comparing all the grades on homework 1, not in a negative way,
but definitely in a way that is hindering my progress on this stats thingy.

This is not right, and not helpful at all!

I'm trying though. I am.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

October - Busiest time yet

There's always gonna be a crazy month of the semester.
And then a crazy week.
Or a crazy period of time where everything, including personal life (aka human stuff) all decide to happen at the same time.

This weekend is family time. It is Grandpa's 80th birthday, and Chad is coming home from the Marine's to spend a month at home.
And this is also the weekend where work is craziest.
Stats midterm on Tuesday.
Stats homework due on Tuesday.
Preparation for lab meeting on Tuesday.
6 emotion articles to be read and critiqued on before Tuesday.
TA duties - review session on Wednesday.
And of course all the others things I'm working on like fellowship application and lab work.


October is turning out to be one hell of a crazy month!

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Quantitative Psychology

My focus area is in Developmental Psychology.
Our school's focus is somewhat in Health Psychology, given the bigger number of faculty and student in that department, which is cool really, because Dev and Health have sooooo many overlapping research areas.
The other program offered within the Psychological Sciences department is the Quantitative Psychology. And this is.. almost like the adopted child of psychology. To me, at least.

First things first, don't get me wrong, Quan Psych is superrrr important to the field of psychological research. It is basically the combination of Advanced Stats and Psych Research.
But that doesn't mean it shows any (obvious) link to psychological research as we know it. It goes into details, somewhat like "behind the scenes" and it is just worlds apart from the journal articles we're so used to reading by now..

I'm in awe of all my quantitative psych classmates now. They're awesome. A little crazy. But awesome.

I've been reading about structural equation and growth parameters and Bayesian theory and I'm getting no where.. T.T
They're interesting, but I feel like I might as well be reading something about quantum physics or astrobiophysics or I don't know.. anthrochemistry. (If any of this exists..)

Somehow, this is a good challenge. Good because it made me realise all the crazy amounts of articles I've been reading really isn't that bad after all. At least I understood 80% of what it says.. And good because I know I chose the right field. And good because.. Well, I guess I'll be more proficient in stats and stuff like that, which would definitely help me in analysis.

So yea, it's a good thing.

And yea, obviously I'm trying (really) hard to be positive about this.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

(Another) Revamp: First Post as a PhD Student

Hi blog,

I have decided to rename you. Something along the lines of "Life of a PhD Student" or "The Crazy Ups and Dows of a PhD Student" or you know, you get it. The thing is, I think I do need it. I need to be able to write and express my feelings and thoughts and emotions, and to be able to write in a non-academic way. I don't want to lose that!

So anyway, it's been a crazy two weeks (three?). I don't know I've kinda lost count. And more often than not, I lose sight of what my ultimate goal is, and focusing on all the little tedious steps really isn't helping. Perhaps keeping a journal/blog of my 5 year journey is going to save my sanity. That and dayre is just different. I like dayre cos it's small and compact and easy and nice for remembering day-to-day stuff, but nothing is as therapeutic as just talking and rambling and by talking I mean typing.

Okay, so what to expect when you're into your third week of a PhD program? Well, basically, everything and nothing.

Be prepared for lots of readings. Like Lots and lots and readings. That's not too bad really.

Be prepared to be doing "nothing". This is the hard part for me. As a PhD student all I want to do is jump into research and start my journey being a "scientist". And as much as you know, I have a good advisor and interesting topics and all its just not the way it works. It comes back to reading. You need to read to know the literature, read to get ideas, read to be able to hone in and determine what you really want to do.. Sounds easy? No. Not really. The waiting, the uncertainty, the "but I'm interested in everything" really doesn't do you any good.

Hopefully I'll be back with more good news. I mean I will. I should be getting busier, and hopefully more in tuned to being a future PhD holder.

I'll try to make my entries more objective and professional and about school, but let's be real, I'm pretty much an emotional person. Although that's now a weird word to use.. Considering we still can't define "emotion" yet, well thats what the literature review says anyway. (I'm taking an emotion class this semester, that should explain it)

Okay now. Blogging during my office hours are SO NOT professional.

Sunday, March 23, 2014