When you hold me up high..

I'm counting down the days left.
I am having too much fun, too attached.
I hate it when i forget my mistakes and once again get attached:
emotionally and physically.
I am so used to be around ppl I love,
and those who loves me for who I am as well.
And sorry,
this makes both parties sad,
but i can't help but think abt the day you are going to leave again. =(

I'm just depressed.
Have to accept that females are the more emotional gender.
I tot i have outgrew the pain,
yet the wound seems fresh and new.

It was not a matter of time,
it was merely a metter of determination.
I was so determined to put you guys in the past and live on.
I was so determined to show that without you guys I cud live a perfectly colorful life.
And all this had to come rushing back,
all in one blow.

How big a realization it was.
Somehow, I was never the important one.
I was quick to let go, yet i know tat saved me from more pain.

Yes, I moved on.
Yes, I am changed.
Yes, I can live without you ppl.
And yes, I want to.



But no, I can't forget.

No-Eyes-See

I feel the need to keep my eyes shut everytime i see disgusting-annoying-frustrating things.
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Thus, speak no evil.

How many times have i gone thru this?
I analyzed my feelings, my emotions, and yet I find no reason to accept wat u have done.
Its betrayal. And u know it.
Dun give me bull-shit reasons.
Dun tell lies to cover yr intentions.
DO NOT spit yr poisonous stories into my ears.

But of cos,
I put on a perfect facade.
I know wat u are. Oh yes, I have seen yr kind one times too many.

Sorry peeps,
this topic is getting really bored i know.
but i need to justify myself by letting it out.
releasing.
perhaps by doing this i can go on with my pretense.
The persona i so carefully crafted for u, the one and only.

Sigh.
I am never evil and I will nvr speak bad of u.
I hold on to the memories we once shared,
and i hope you do too.
Somehow.

Water Brains

Sorry.
Can't help it.
But Miss Carmen is in a HYPER mood.

Lol.
Going out with bubu this saturday.
Hopefully yaya can join us larr.
Hahaz.

This post is actually dedicated to the one with water brains - Geetha a/p Rakwan.
Lol.
And i missed many ppl today.
Getting emo and nostalgic.

Bipolar.
Lalalalala~

It's hard

I'm not ok.
So stop asking.
U shud know how i feel,
u,
of all people.

I'm disappointed,
angry,
sad,
confused,
lost,
scared,
furstrated,
most importantly,
i'm hurt.


give me a valid explanation.
i need it like a smoker needs his ciggies.
how do i assure myself,
when u have nuthin better to say for yrself?

its permanent.
its sad i know.
but u can't just tatoo it on my heart and expect to walk away just like tat.